Evolution
Even before the bell completed the dong of its ding, I jumped up and reached the door. I shivered with excitement, which was an odd reaction in itself I thought. Maybe I ought to get myself checked up. My thoughts were interrupted as the visitor pressed the bell button again.
I composed myself before opening the door. After all, I did want to make a superior first impression. All these years had paid off and I was finally going to have my very own…butler? I had opened the door only to see a middle aged young man with balding hair, a slightly protruding belly and a hunched back standing in front of me. For a minute we both looked at each other inquiringly.
‘Ahem.’ He said, clearing his throat. ‘I am Harold.’ He said with a slight bow that magnified his ugly haunch even more. ‘Your personal butler from Home Support Systems, sir.’ He said with a flourish, clearly expecting a more excited reaction.
‘Oh okie.’ I said, the disappointment clearly showing on my face. ‘I was expecting a…’
‘A more visually pleasing specimen sir?’ Ross said with a slight twinkle on his face.
I was surprised to see it smiling. ‘Were they supposed to do that?’ I thought to myself.
‘Yes, I said. I paid top dollar for you! I thought you’d be taller, fitter, more…more regal?’ I said with a clear look of disappointment on my face.
‘I assure you, you will not find my services wanting sir.’ He said with that infuriatingly pleasant smile of his.
‘But I thought they guaranteed quality. I was told I’d receive a perfect product.’ I complained.
‘But I am perfect, sir. No defects anywhere in me. The company tested me thoroughly before considering me ready for deployment. We do come in all shapes and sizes sir, but once again, I assure you, my services are top notch.’
I still stood there, on the doorstep, a little unconvinced.
‘You can always return me if you find my services to be unsatisfactory.’
‘Oh well, if that’s the case.’ I said opening the doorway a little more and allowing him to step inside. ‘Let me give you a quick tour of the house and an overview of your responsibilities.’
Harold stepped in and looked around. ‘Err before that sir, could you please show me my quarters? I’d like to stow my luggage before getting ready for work.’ He said as he lugged a small battered looking, brown coloured suitcase into the house.
‘Certainly Harold!’ I said as I showed him a cupboard by the living room. I think this should suffice. You’ll have to clean it yourself, but I think you’ll find yourself reasonably comfortable in there. There’s a 225 volt power socket with rapid charging facilities that I got installed for you.’
He just stood there looking at me with wondrous eyes. His smile had been replaced with a frown
‘Sir, did you read the instructions that Home Support Systems sent along with the service contract?’ Harold said in a voice now completely devoid of emotion.
‘Err, of course I did.’ I said as I thought about the large unopened package that had come along with the contract. Did they really expect me to read it all? I missed the smile already.
‘I am not sure you did sir. You see, I am human sir!
‘Human?’ I ejaculated. ‘Human? Oh god!’ I said with a sinking feeling.
‘Yes sir.’ He said frostily.
I just stood there dumbstruck. ‘Well I can return you, can’t I?’
‘I am not sure sir! Outside of performance issues, it’s a grey zone. You could get in touch with the management?’ Harold suggested.
‘I certainly will, right now! Boy are they in for some nasty moments. And they better refund me the entire amount’ I muttered furiously as I plugged myself into a power socket and powered up my video and internet interfaces